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United Church of Paducah
4600 Buckner Lane
Paducah, KY 42001
(270) 442-3722
Worship Times
Sunday Service: 10:00a
Refreshments &
Fellowship: 11:15a
Christian Education
For All Ages:
11:20a - Noon
Nursery Services Provided Handicap Accessible
All Are Welcome!
A Congregation Of The
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From March 25, 2007
Touched by Love
John 12: 1-8
Mary, you remember her. She's the woman who sat herself down
at Jesus' feet and listened while her sister toiled in the
kitchen and boiled with resentment. Mary. You remember how
Jesus affirmed her wise seeking.
Mary kneels before Jesus again today. But things are
different this time. Mary wants to give instead of receive.
And lavishly. She pours out perfumed oil. Oil so expensive
it would have cost a full year's wages. She slathers Jesus'
feet with it and then gently, lovingly works it in with her
hands. And when she's done, she wipes away the excess with
her hair.
Mary's gesture is extravagant. But the real issue isn't
extravagance; it's something else. It's the intimacy of it
all. Women don't do things like that. Not publicly. Not with
men they aren't married to. Judas betrays his uneasiness and
everyone else's when he suggests that Mary's money would
have been better spent on the poor.
When it comes to touch, almost all of us are poor. Here in
the land of plenty, most of us are what social scientists
call "skin hungry." And yet touch is essential. It
communicates what words cannot, something Mary teaches us
today. We need touch every bit as much as we need air, food,
and water. Touching and being touched is how we know we are
alive. It's how we know we're not alone. It's how we know we
are loved.
Even Jesus needed to be touched, something that Mary's
lavish gesture reminds us. All week long as I pictured Mary
at Jesus' feet, I was reminded of a very different but no
less compelling story about the power of touch. This morning
I want to share with you Rosie Decker's story and how touch,
plus love, transformed her life. Maybe like me, you will
find yourself unable to forget Rosie and those who loved her
into new life.
And who knows? Maybe this story will even inspire you to
trust the Spirit that flows from your hands into the warm
flesh of one of God's children.
I learned about Rosie four years ago from an article in
Weavings, a Christian publication. Except for a few changes
I've made, the words you're about to hear belong to Sue
Mosteller, who is a member of Daybreak, a worldwide
community of people with physical and mental handicaps, and
their assistants who live with them and who are guided and
inspired by Jesus' sermon on the mount, the Beatitudes.
In a condemned nursing home about to close, Debby from
Daybreak met Rosie. Rosie was a tiny, twenty-one-year-old
homeless waif, living in a small crib with a grated top that
looked like a cage. It was totally ludicrous to secure the
crib's lid, since Rosie could neither sit up by herself,
stand, or walk. She weighed only 43 pounds, mainly because
her narrowed esophagus prevented her from eating anything as
thick as a milkshake.
Rosie had no speech, but that really didn't matter; her
autism apparently separated her from anyone wishing to be
close. She suffered, too, from a curvature of the spine.
Handicapped and abandoned at birth, Rosie had no family and
not one lifelong, consistent relationship, not one
experience of being unique and beautiful for another. Her
face was without any expression. There was little life in
her small body. Lifting her was like lifting a sack of
flour. As a young adult, she seemed to have no sense of her
identity as a person of value.
Debby told Rosie that for the past two years the people at
Daybreak had been planning and preparing to welcome some
people with physical as well as intellectual disabilities.
She talked about the new home that had been renovated in
preparation, and of the team that had gone for special
training and was ready to welcome her.
Debby asked Rosie if she would like to come and live with
the Daybreak people. Never making eye contact, Rosie
squirmed to the other side of the crib to get farther away
and then turned her back on Debby.
When the nursing home closed a few months later, Rosie went
to Daybreak. The community was excited to welcome her and
offer her a home. So much attention had gone into getting
ready for Rosie that they imagined she would feel that she
had "hit the jackpot." At Daybreak they wanted to give her a
beautiful home, her own room, special clothes, medical care,
long walks, a program during the day, lots of time for
meals, more consistent friendships, and a community of
celebration and forgiveness.
Rosie was not interested in any of it and, besides, she had
to live a deep bereavement, leaving behind the safety of the
only life she had ever known. She stayed very aloof. She
cried, and her cries became screams that pierced the ear and
lasted for hours on end.
Rosie refused to eat, spitting back everything that was put
into her mouth. She rocked, banging herself against the
wall, never smiled, never looked at anyone directly, and
continued to scream most days, for more than two years!
Sometimes she would simply stop breathing until her lips
were blue, and then DJ, the assistant, would gather her into
his arms and go off to the hospital to ensure her revival.
Rosie lived in some faraway world of anguish.
It was not easy to stay long with Rosie, so people at
Daybreak took turns caring for her and telling her with
words and actions that she was precious and that they wanted
her to be a participating member of the community. She would
have none of it, refusing any return for the love and care
being poured out.
Daybreak's psychiatrist told them that Rosie, convinced of
her nothingness by such radical abandonment, was proving how
hateful she was. Their task, he said, was to believe more in
her beauty than she believed in her hatefulness. Rosie's
conviction was like steel.
It was two or three years before people at Daybreak noticed
the first signs that Rosie really was in there! She became
comfortable with John, one of the other core members in her
household who loved her from the beginning and who showered
her with his attention. She could accept his kisses and his
affection, and once in a while, she even smiled.
Then she allowed DJ, the head of the home, and Mary, who was
responsible for her Day Program, to hold her in their arms
for a time and to talk to her. Rosie became more relaxed
with Zenia, another assistant, splashing in the bath,
sitting quietly while her hair was being dried, or making
contented noises while she was being dressed.
Slowly there were signs of trust: less rocking, sometimes
eating without a fuss, smiling, and a glance into the face
of the person who was with her. For the care-givers who gave
so much and received so little, a glance of recognition from
Rosie was a precious gift!
Rosie's Daybreak friends did not expect to have to believe
in her worth in the face of opposition from the medical
profession. The General Hospital refused her because she was
too small, and the Children's Hospital refused her because
she was too old!
Right in front of her the first surgeon asked, "Why would
you want to do corrective surgery on her?" After the sixth
surgeon refused to do the necessary surgery because of her
many other limitations, one of Daybreak's Board Members, a
doctor, influenced a colleague to scrape and widen her
esophagus and to repair a hernia that had plagued her for
some time. This surgery was a turning point for Rosie.
She was moving about on the second day after surgery and
ready to leave the hospital on the third! She began to
actually enjoy her food and devoured bowl after bowl of
spaghetti, gained weight, and gained energy. She showed
eagerness to feed herself and took delight in snatching food
from the plate of whoever was sitting beside her at the
table! Rosie began to look into people's eyes when they
spoke to her, and she could risk giggling when she was
teased. Every day there were signs that Rosie was in there,
and was choosing to express herself and choosing to live.
A few months after her surgery, tipping the scales at 60
pounds, Rosie began to crawl! She loved it because she could
get herself to the floor radiators or move out into the sun
where the heat gave her pleasure. She laughed too as she
skidded away from those trying to catch her.
One day when Rosie was 25, Rosie took hold of a coffee table
and rose up into a standing position! In a very short time
she learned to take some steps and she toddled about on her
own. To see Rosie walking even unsteadily through the home
was like having a tiny glimpse of resurrection. She knew
where her room was, and she felt free to leave the crowded
dinner table to go off for some time alone. Later, she might
toddle back to join the group and enjoy some dessert.
Zenia and Rosie became fast friends. Rosie had no speech,
but extroverted Zenia loved to talk and was seldom silent
when they were together. "Oh Rosie, you are so fabulous!" "You know, Rosie, your hair is so gorgeous, so let's use the
curling iron today and see what happens."
"Rosie, do you know how absolutely beautiful you are? Just
look at yourself in the mirror! Come now! Let's go show
everyone how ravishing you are this morning!"
At one point, Zenia planned a trip with Rosie to New York
City to visit a former assistant. All the folks at Daybreak
thought this was a foolish idea and they predicted that
Rosie would scream the entire way.
True, she did scream all the way to the airport but once on
the plane, she loved it. One of the best moments was the
shopping trip to Bloomingdale's where Rosie bought some new
outfits and later, when Daybreak had an award night, Rosie
was named the best-dressed woman in the community!
Clara lived for eight months as an assistant in the home,
bathing and helping feed Rosie daily without ever receiving
any sign of recognition or affection from her. But on the
day when Clara had an upsetting altercation with another
assistant, Rosie seemed to know what to do. Bursting into
tears, Clara ducked into Rosie's empty room, sat on the bed,
and cried into her hands. She was completely unaware of
Rosie coming into and climbing onto the bed. Suddenly, Rosie
plunked herself into Clara's lap, looked straight into her
tear-stained face, and began to laugh! It was Rosie's way of
consoling her friend, Clara.
When Rosie celebrated her tenth anniversary at Daybreak, the
house was jammed with over thirty old friends who came to
celebrate with her. While Rosie allowed people to hug her,
looked at them when they spoke to her, killed herself
laughing, ate up a storm, and walked about like the queen of
the castle, each one there spoke of the marvel of Rosie
Decker. Her life touched each person profoundly and they all
echoed Zenia's sentiments when she turned to Rosie and said,
"Rosie, you have changed my heart in ways that I could never
have imagined, and you are one of the most beautiful and
courageous women I have ever known."
Rosie still screams. She knows anguish. But her choice to
live is unfaltering, and by the radiance of her presence she
makes it clear that in her heart-of-hearts she is changed.
She has somewhere chosen to be Rosie, accepted herself as
Rosie, and believed over and above her many limitations,
that she has a place in this world. With her gentle,
beautiful, and true identity, Rosie has touched the lives of
hundreds of people - a circle that grows today to includes you
and me here in Paducah.
Let us pray: Loving Christ, throughout your ministry the
power of your touch restored and transformed. Let us not
forget what you tell us in Matthew's gospel, that when we
minister to the last and the least among us, we are
ministering to you. So fill us with the spirit of generosity
that we are inspired, like Mary with her expensive oil, to
lavish one another with loving touch. We pray this in Jesus'
name.
Amen.
© 2007 Rev. Karen Winkel
United Church of Paducah (UCC)
Rosie's story has been adapted from ”A Place
to Become Myself,” Sue Mosteller,
Weavings: A Journal of the Christian Spiritual Life,
November/December 2003. |
"Never place a period where God has placed a comma." - Gracie
Allen
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